lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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