im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
