Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
