also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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