Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
