no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I need water and some morals
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
