Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
