I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
