apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
