I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
