He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
