why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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