GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
