Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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