You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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