Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
