I just made out with a guy for $7.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
