thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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