so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
