i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You may now shotgun with the bride
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
