drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
