did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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