It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
