there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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