Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
