Where is the hickey?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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