oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
