GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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