i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
