you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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