I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
