i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
