I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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