you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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