am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
