I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
