I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
