You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
