my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
