Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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