you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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