let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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