what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
