Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
