is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she looked like the before picture.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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