So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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