Since when is my name a synonym for head?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
