I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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