I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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