yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
