Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
