She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
