you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
