margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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