last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
