Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
