Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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