yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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