why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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