i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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